at Alta Loma Brethren in Christ Church, June 21, 2003
Dear Bem;
Bem, til the day you went home to Jesus, you were still worrying about me. What did I ever do to deserve someone like you???
We’ve gotten so close the last few months and the bond we shared is like no other…I feel very lucky, even though you were snatched away too soon…It was so hard to see you suffer like that but you took it like a real man, we have always taught you not to quit and for that you made me very proud. You encouraged me when I was down, and you made me laugh when I was sad. You made hospital stays and clinic visits fun and memorable. I miss all of that, the big things and the little things…I miss touching you…being with you…you…Our talks, our laughs, playing video games, our daily drive, the shots I had to give you , just everything..
People come to us and tell us what a wonderful job we did of raising you. The truth is, it is YOU…You have made it so easy…if anything, I have learned from you. You have taught me how to be more loving, forgiving and compassionate. You have made me a better person. You just have a happy heart, Jesus shined right through you.
I am sure you are still worried about me. I feel good about where you are at right now, I am just upset that I can’t be there with you. I know you are not alone. I just need you to comfort me forever because it will be extremely hard to live without you. I know you are with Jesus, no more pain and suffering. The love you have for us, you brought it with you in heaven.
Mama will always love you. I expect you to pick me up when God is ready for me. I will miss you like crazy. Best Buy has definitely lost their best customer!!!!
I love you Bem, and forgive me if I have done anything to upset you. I will see you soon…you are the best…
Love always,
Mash-Murn
Dear son,
How do I say goodbye to someone I love so much?? When you were born 14 years ago, we almost arrived at the hospital too late. Within an hour, God blessed me with a beautiful baby boy. My heart is overcome with joy. Since that day, I have truly believed that you are a gift from God. We had so much fun watching you grow up. You were the first grandchild, so loved by everyone. Your gramma and grampa helped give you everything life had to offer. I loved playing with you, throwing you in the air, letting you ride on my back, football, everything. We would take you to big parties every weekend, and you were the center of attention. Oh, how everyone in the family loves you!!! As you begin to grow, I could tell that you were a deep thinker, a very smart young man. Your comments and thoughts were beyond your years. I made me feel very blessed. Looking back, I think your uncles, aunts and cousins nurtured these gifts. They did it with long conversations, trips to monuments and museums, or long walks outdoors. God blessed you with intelligence, and your school grades reflected it. You made honor roll all the time and it brought is such joy. You would pray every night for a brother or sister, finally it happened. You were such a good brother to Taylor and Cody. I will make sure they never forget how much you love them. As you grew up more, I began to see your heart!!! You were always concerned about others, especially your mother. I loved how you protected her until the day you left us.
The day you were diagnosed with cancer another gift from God came forward. It was courage. I had seen small examples of it with your sports and handling of bullies, but those pale when I think of the way you battled your disease. You never quit, always pushing for aggressive treatment, always praying to God for complete healing, always worried about us. Your faith was unbelievable. God just wanted you home.
Last week, when we learned you would die soon, we were crushed, floored. I cannot believe we had to walk down a few doors to deliver this news. We were all so devastated, yet as the day wound down, you calmly began to share your disappointments. No high school, no college, no marriage, no career. It hurt us but we listened. The last question you had for us was simply; “Have I done everything I had to do to get to heaven?” As soon as you said that your mom and I felt peace and assurance. We just remembered the promise that Jesus made.
Now, I’m full of anger, sorrow and pain, but this is just my flesh. It will pass and I will remember you, I will live your earthly life in my mind. When I see a strong tree, I will remember your build. When I take long walks, I will hear you laughing in the wind. I will not remember this as a tragedy. I will remember a love story. A story about a little boy who grew up to be a real man through Christ Jesus. We always hear of a mean and cynical world, the last 19 months I have seen a world of love and compassion. I have seen family, friends and complete strangers do acts that would take nothing short of a book to tell about. It has changed me forever.
Kyle I know you are having a blast in heaven. See you soon.
Love, DAD
One of the hardest, devastating news we ever heard was when we found out that Kyle had bone cancer. We searched hard to find a reason for this, and always came out empty handed. We asked why such an illness can be given to a child so alive and beautiful, so compassionate and caring. We asked but no answers ever came.
When Kyle passed away last weekend, the news about his cancer that devastated us now seemed to pale in comparison. The passing of Kyle has left such a huge hole in our hearts – such an emptiness – it is impossible to imagine news that would even compare. It is impossible to imagine life without him. And again we ask why, and still no answers come. Every day we beg for his return. Every day we ask why.
Kyle was a beautiful, compassionate human being. His selflessness was beyond his years. Even during his battle with cancer, his primary concern was the welfare of his family. He wanted to make sure that his parents were doing fine, that his brother and sister and cousins were well taken care of.
Kyle’s courage was also unbelievable. He has gone through things that most of us will never have to face, and yet he met this with resolve and courage unmatched. Even to his death, Kyle showed strength and courage that he uniquely possessed.
But above all, Kyle’s laughter and humor will never be equaled in our family. He always filled the room with his light, and touched every person he has ever met. From the nurses that took care of him to his own close family, Kyle has moved and changed all of us. He is the soul of this family, and this emptiness will never be filled.
We have always thought of Kyle as our own son, and will always do so. We grieve the loss as if he is our own, because he is. Kyle has shaped our thoughts and touched our hearts, and we now see his gentleness and sense of humor in his cousins, brother and sister. His spirit will live on through them, and through us. Kyle lived his life here on earth as an innocent child, yet left his loved ones as a truly dignified man. Rest now, Bem. We will always love you and hold you close to our thoughts, prayers and hearts.
I was given an assignment to prepare a speech in my honors Spanish 4 class last March about any topic. The first thing that came to my mind was Kyle. Here is my speech that I wrote, translated. Keep in mind, I wrote this before Kyle passed away.
"A Hero"
A hero. One that is strong and well-known. One that usually has superpowers and can never be brought down. A hero also tends to be older than the admirer. My hero is different. He doesn't have superpowers, isn't well known, and is younger than I, but he is the strongest person I know. His name is Kyle Lee and he is my nephew. He will turn 14 in April.
Kyle was like most kids his age: he played football, went to school, and hung out with friends. In November 2001, he was diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma (bone cancer) and everything changed. He is no longer able to play football and go to school. He has chemotherapy often and takes various types of medicine. He is required to stay in the hospital many days at a time.
Despite all of these changes, the person Kyle is inside has not changed . He still laughs, smiles, and never complains. He also is extremely helpful and always puts his family's needs before his own.
Two of the biggest reasons why Kyle is my hero are his determination and his courage. Kyle is determined to beat this disease and hasn't shown any sign of giving up. He also is very brave and isn't afraid to face the truth of the disease; he shows no fear when speaking of it.
Observing Kyle's personality and actions, I do believe that he will beat the disease and be able to return to his original lifestyle. And even if he doesn't come out of this alright, I am still extremely proud of his constant humor, unbreakable determination, and neverending courage. I also feel very lucky to be his aunt and his friend. For these reasons, I have easily chosen Kyle has my #1 hero.
Kyle,
My cousin
My inspiration
My hero
But most of all, MY BEST FRIEND
We did almost everything together
I love you so much!
And I’ll miss you so much
But every time I think of you
Which will probably be more than you think
I’ll remember All the good times we shared
When we were babies and when we grew a little older
I wouldn’t replace ONE minute I spent with you for anything else!
Every time I see Cody and Monica play around I think about all the fun
We had when we were their age. It brings back memories that I will NEVER forget in my life!
You have given me the best 13 years ever. Even though we had times when you made me:
Happy
Sad
When you made me cry
And times when I didn’t want to be anywhere else!
These are the times I will cherish the most
You taught me so much!
You taught me how to be practical strong and willing!
Ever since you got diagnosed I would see you in pain a lot
I did not like seeing you like that at all!
Seeing you like this I would try to accept the fact that God took you for a
reason but I will never really understand why
person from so many people who love him a lot
but I know that your safe with Him and in no more pain!
You will be missed!
Kyle u were and forever will be a big brother to me!
Even though I wanted to finish growing up with you,
For you to teach me more things….
I know your shining down on us from heaven!
Rest In Peace
I love you with all my heart, I’ll see you when I get there.
Kyle is brave, strong and funny. He used to like running. He’s in heaven and has no pain. Now he’s fine and with God. We love you and miss you.
Kyle is the best big brother ever. He had a wonderful sense of humor and he still does. Kyle loves us all. He’s in the most wonderful place ever. This place is a million, trillion times better than earth. He is loved and missed but he’s in a better place. We love him. I love you, Kyle.
Karate
Young
Loving
Everything to me